It was about five weeks ago that I had a feeling in my heart, 'I want to write blogs dedicated to certain people, I am going to start with (my uncle) Mark O'Driscoll' ...I had just come from an evening out where I was able to spend time talking with him and I felt the strong desire to write about him, and what an incredible gift he is.
Then time went by.
I kept thinking about it.
About three weeks ago I had a couple distinct words come into my heart when the pressing idea of the blog appeared again. Those words were "humble" and "encourager". I was piecing together in my mind what I would write about.
Then time went by.
As his birthday was approaching I knew I needed to get my thoughts out and write the blog.
I didn't.
It was then that I visited my brother's blog, as I often do; only to find a (as always) brilliantly stated, eloquent blog written about the man I had been desiring to write about for the past 5 weeks. I felt like if I wrote my blog now, it would be like the opening act coming out after the rock-star. This is just one of the few things that I have realized as "life passing me by". It has been strongly (for months) in my head and heart to be training for a half marathon that I am supposedly running in a couple weeks. I could give every excuse in the book as to why I have not trained. I am not mentally where I need to be at all, and I have just not done it.
It's embarrassing to admit that I can often sit and do nothing at all but stare and think in silence without moving for 2 hours straight. I am in here, inside my head and body, wanting desperately to get out and have passion and drive again for something.
What I know to be true without a doubt is this: I have a truly blessed life. God has given me an awesome husband as well as three truly amazing children. God has surrounded me with beautiful, loving, generous, wise, funny, encouraging people. All of my needs and most of my material wants are met. I know that my life is good. That was never a question. Even as I write this I am tempted to push the backspace button until I again have a blank screen in front of me. I know I must press on.
I know life is experienced in and through seasons, changes, heartbreak, grief, sorrow, devastation, greed, sacrifice, selfishness, anger, excitement, drought, ............and joy.
I am praying for the last.
