The people on my mind today...

The one from my dream last night; I saw you standing in my living room and I almost couldn't breathe. When I asked where you had been you remained so calm. As I went to hug you my breath was taken away even more. As I hugged you tightly I cried harder and louder than I ever have before. I missed you so much. The violent tears and emotion brought me right out of my dream. I laid in my bed with the familiar sting of reality of your absence.
The one I thought about as I brushed her hair... You are trying so hard already in this life. I loved watching you interact with your friend last night.  Your sensitive spirit shined when you giggled, as you confidently read your school poem to me, and when you showed genuine concern for your friend's feelings. I love that. 
The one I thought about as I reread his love texts to me last night.... I feel a deep sense of respect and security in my heart when I overhear your voice through the phone saying to our son, 'I wanted to tell you that I love you, buddy'.
The one I thought about as I began my day... I was brought to my knees in tears this morning thanking God for answering prayers.  Your ability to influence so many is not by accident, but a gift from God that will be used far beyond your wildest dreams. You are deeply loved. I respect you so much for the decisions you are making.
The one I thought about as I watched you shut the door and run to class... You are so precious to me. You have a way of encouraging people and making them feel loved. I count you as one of my greatest blessings.

PRACTICAL JOKES

When I came home from lunch yesterday there were freshly baked brownies on the counter made by my son.  The kitchen was clean, but he had left his batter mixing bowl on the counter and had not yet washed it out.  I took the bowl, put it into the sink, and flipped the water handle up full blast to fill the bowl up before scrubbing it out.  When I did this, however, water came spraying out directly at me, drenching my sweatshirt and the floor.  I yelled, scrambled, and reached through the steady stream to slap the handle back to the off position.  It was then that I noticed my ponytail holder wrapped tightly around the sink sprayer holding in securely in the spraying position.  My son had rigged it that way so that his mom would get a nice shower when she turned on the sink.  He wasn't anywhere to be found. I stood there, alone in my house, drenched.  It was at that moment I began to laugh out loud for a few minutes. 
I love that kid.

How willing am I?

From a conversation I had today with someone full of wisdom.: 'It isn't always about the revelations that God allows you to have, but more about how willing you are to let Him change you after he reveals them to you'

So, my question: How willing am I ?
Am I willing to make the changes necessary to keep me growing into the person God has created me to be?
What does that look like? How do I get there?

The good news is that God gets how ridiculous I can be. He knows how over analytical, judgmental, hypocritical, and full of failure I can be! He already knows every evil thought, evil desire, every sin, every act of disobedience and every single time I will fall short way before it ever comes to be.  Here's the best part: He is CRAZY IN LOVE WITH ME ANYWAY.

But because he loves me so much, he refuses to leave me the way that I am.  His desire is that I would be continually growing and experiencing everything that he has set up for me to experience in this lifetime.  I will ask him to show me areas of my life that need change. When I pray for him to step in and change me, (attitude, parenting, self control, etc) I have to know that I also must be willing to do my part when he is ready to grow me a little bit more. I have to be willing to surrender to him daily which usually goes something like this,
"God, I give you my entire day, I know what I want and need to get done but I need your help. My attitude has sucked lately. Please help me to keep my mouth closed if nothing useful or kind is going to come out of it, help me to be gentle, loving and understanding. Humble me. Replace my selfishness with your selflessness. I am aware that I cannot do anything good without you, so please take over in every area and don't let me get in the way".

I usually feel filled up and ready to go about my day after spending some time praying.  It doesn't take long, though, for God to set up my first obstacle course.  This comes in the form of kids fighting, coffee spilling, running late, forgetting homework, messy kitchen, road rage, grumpy people, financial worries, or whatever else that comes along with this life I'm leading. This is the time when God gives me the opportunity to: smile instead of scream, remain calm instead of freak out, trust instead of fear, give instead of take,  and place more importance on loving than on being right.  These "opportunities" are available every single day.  When I go against my flesh and practice obedience in these areas I am  "willing". He will give me the same opportunities for however long it takes me to master them.  Sigh.  I'd like to say I get it the first time the challenge is put in front of me;  but some of these things I have been working on for years.  Luckily, God isn't sick of me trying and failing.  He's excited to set up the obstacle courses for as long as it takes! 

DISNEYLAND

'The Happiest Place on Earth'.  That's where we were last week.  We surprised our kids and took them on a plane to Cali.  This is something that we've been wanting to do for awhile now, and we took the opportunity while Michael is still in his off-season.  Our kids are at such amazing ages to really enjoy and appreciate all that the park had to offer us. It was nice to get out of town and just be with our kids in a setting that wasn't the stress of everyday life. The other thing I love about getting out of town is being out of town with my husband.  I LOOOOOVE "vacation mode Mike".  He's so great.  He's just focused on his family, and having fun. He's always looking out for everyone whether it's trekking around the theme parks with about 20 lbs of extra weight in his backpack so that we are well prepared for cold or rain, stopping to tie little shoes, or wipe faces, he's ALWAYS considerate of everyone else before himself.  I LOVE that about him.  He is such a gentleman.  It reminds me of my dad so much. Such a charming quality that reveals his genuine character. Listening to him laugh out loud sitting behind me on the roller coasters was just an added bonus that made my Disneyland days even better. Jeffrey made sure to eat some chocolate covered bananas in honor of Grandpa Pat, because they were his favorite at Disneyland!!
We were hosted for four nights by Mike and Kelly Falbo.  Mike was my dad's best friend since second grade. These people are truly wonderful. They had a natural gift for making us feel so comfortable and their hospitality consistently went above and beyond.  We were blessed by them all week. They prepared meals for us, snack bags for long days at the park, comfy beds, bubble baths for the kids, ...the list goes on.  I loved just sitting, talking, and laughing with them.
We may have to go down for another visit again sooner than later.