I'm ready for a new year. Time again to reevaluate, simplify, and prioritize. At first glance one might say that doing those three things are easy, but for a girl like me it can become slightly overwhelming. I've always struggled with approval. In my past I have always cared so much about what the people in my life thought of me, my chioces, my victories and my failures. I have cared about it to the point where I could feel suffocated by it; wondering what has been said or even thought by those people whom I value. It's an issue that God has been dealing with me pretty severely on during the past few months. When I was in Africa this past month I heard God speak directly to my heart with this verse:
Galatians 1:10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ
It's probably what I appreciate the most about God. When I talk to him about my issues, He answers. Needless to say I have not arrived; I still find myself slipping into thoughts or worries about what others (who I have known and loved my entire life) think. I am, however, making progress. I will not be ashamed for the past mistakes I have made or past sins I have committed, regardless of how "big" they were in the eyes of the world. I will not be ashamed of who I am or who I am becoming. I live my life for the audience of ONE. There is ONE who will judge me. ONE who knows what my issues are. ONE who's approval I desire. He is the place I find my peace, my hope, my correction, my forgiveness, my promises, my life. I hope that I can make strides in 2012 to walk in complete confidence of who I know I am and leave behind the debilitating approval seeking thoughts or behaviors that have kept me from all God has called me to be.
