Time with God....listen...embrace...obey.

This is the bible college in Murietta California where my church holds it's Women's retreat every year. The entire campus is amazing...this is only the pool area. The trees, the hot springs, the lake, the architecture,...it's all breathtaking.
I wasn't going to go to retreat this year...but my friend Joelle gave me some wonderful wisdom a couple weeks prior to that helped me to change my mind. She just advised that I shouldn't so easily dismiss the idea of going and pray about it. I did. She was right. I have been struggling a little bit lately with God. When I take the time to read my bible, and to talk to Him I can hear Him gently guiding me and telling me certain things for my life. I don't always like to obey what I hear...which I hear is kind of a common occurrence with us humans. We are so very stubborn.

Every year at retreat there comes a time....Saturday afternoon, after the morning teaching and before lunch; where we are encouraged to go spend an hour with God. We are to find a place somewhere on the beautiful grounds, anywhere, and just seek Him. Just me and Him. By this time I was feeling pretty free. I felt good about where I was with God. I had followed through on doing something difficult that He had told me to do, and now was just time to worship Him and seek Him. About ten minutes into my quiet time I pulled out my notebook...not quite sure why... just thought...'maybe I'll write God a letter'. For the next thirty straight minutes my hand held the pen and the pen moved almost completely on it's own. It was one of the most bizarre experiences of my life. It was as if the Holy Spirit Himself was writing a prayer for me, my heart was pouring out onto pages of my notebook and I felt as if I was just watching the words appear.

After reading it over afterwards, and sharing it with just a couple close friends, I decided to share it on my blog. Wendi's comment after reading it was something like, "If you ever wanted to know what your purpose is you just need to read this...I think God wanted to show you what was inside your heart so that you could read it and remind yourself where you need to focus whenever you forget"

My prayer:


Dear God,
You are precious to me. I want to know You and love You to the fullness of my ability. I want to know You in every capacity. I want to know Your thoughts and desires for me. Please help me to serve You and honor You in all that I do. Let me honor You in my home, in my marriage, in my parenting, in my finances. Show me how to honor and reverence You in my friendships. Please help me to be confident and bold in YOUR will only. Give me wisdom and knowledge of Your plans for me. Use me to shower Your love on Your children. Let me be a vessel for Your word. Lord, my roots are deep in You alone. I will not be taken over by the world. You, Lord, are greater than the world. Help me, convict me, and give me clear boundaries. Let Your word wash over me and leave me smelling Your sweet fragrance. Help me put You first at all times. Let me serve and please You first before people.

Show me how to keep my children's roots deep in You. Let the soil of Your word be rich and saturating to them. I give them to you Lord. Every one of my fears, anxieties, and judgements I have regarding them I lay down at Your feet. You gave them to me as a gift and for that I am blessed and thankful to You. Let me speak life into them, let me stand in the gap for them and lift them to every plan, purpose, and good thing that You have set aside especially for them. Help me to show them that they are my priority and my assignment from You.

Lord, please give me a tender heart towards my marriage. Mold me into the wife that you created me to be. Show me how to lift up, bless, encourage, respect, and love my husband in every possible way. Let him be my best friend. Strengthen and deepen my marriage. Lord, free me in any areas of bondage in my marriage. I pray that my husband would draw close to You, desire You, and desire Your will for his life. Let me do everything through Your power and strength to protect, heal, cleanse, and prune my marriage. Let me feed it Your spiritual food. Praise You Lord for Your unfathomable goodness. Open the floodgates of Heaven over my marriage. I am a sinner saved by Your perfect mercy and grace and I thank You for Your never ending love and for the freedom in my salvation. Thank you that I have complete open access to Your throne that I may come BOLDLY before You and ask You to bless my marriage in every way. In my thoughts, words, actions, and intimacy Lord, I ask you to bless bless bless me with Your goodness.

Raise and bring me up higher Lord. I am ready Lord, to live in complete obedience to You. Help me to surrender all selfishness, pride and judgement to You. Let me serve You alone Lord so that You might use me to bless others according to Your perfect will. Lord, do not let my feet run ahead of You, but let me follow in the footsteps that You have aligned for me.
Lord, give me a tender love and compassion for all of Your children. Help me to stand in the gap and pray for friends, family, and strangers alike so that we may all come to know You deeper and more profoundly. I dedicate my body, my mind, and my spirit to You and surrender to Your will. Praise you God. These things I pray in the name of Jesus, Amen.