My body hates me. I don't blame it. I've neglected it for far too long. This week it was time to WAKE IT UP. I have just finished my second round of antibiotics from having walking pneumonia for the past 6 weeks or so. Still a hint of a cough, and tight lungs, I HAD to get started on my road to health. Tuesday was my first 2 mile run with Reno Running and Fitness. Wednesday was a Dailey Method class taught by my sis-in-law, Sarah, and today was another run. I am sore, and I have a headache, but I FEEL GREAT! I have guilt about how out of control I let my weight get, how I've passed on bad habits to my kids, and the consequences I'm suffering because I have neglected my health for too long. I have fear of not sticking with it all. Fear of staying in the self loathing miserable state I find myself in when I am doing no type of physical activity. All I can do is take one day at a time, make good choices, and stay active.
I remember training for my first half marathon. I remember coming to Reno and doing a couple great runs with my dad. He was the BEST running partner. He could have been a running trainer. He was so encouraging and always pushed me harder than I pushed myself, but in a way that commanded respect and admiration. Frick. I miss him.
Jeffrey had his 6th basketball game today. His team has won all 6 games so far. Today was one of those out of the blue moments that made my eyes tear up all over again. Watching Jeffrey play so hard the entire game, and seeing his improvement from last year was just awesome. Then the sting of tears hit thinking about how much my dad would have loved to see him playing and improving in basketball. My bro, Brian showed up to support Jeffrey today. Listening to him call out to Jeffrey on the court was like hearing my dad again. Their voices are so similar, it caused a lump in my throat. I miss him so much; and am so thankful for the little pieces of him that reside in all of us.
6 comments:
I am so pleased you shared this with us Er. I love that you are commiting to this run. I KNOW you will do it-because you are doing it FOR him :)
I wish i could be there to see J play some b-ball. I know dad will be up there shouting out a "YEEEOOOWWWWW" for Jeffrey playing so hard :)
I love you.
Good work, Er Bear...keep it up. It will get easier.
Yeah, there was a point when I yelled at Jeffrey to "Box Out" that I even surprised myself...I always knew I sounded like dad, but until lately it never made me pause.
I loved Jeffrey's game....I am bummed that dad missed it from the bleachers, but happy he witnessed it from above...it's just going to be HARD for a while - he was SUCH an enormous presence in all our lives
You are going to be amazing, Jeffro is awesome, blah blah. I can't even listen to what you are saying because your red writing is making my OCD insane.
Sorry, I was totally acting out. I love you, and I think you are amazing. Even when you parent like Melissa Dahir and make your son live with a broken bone.
Shontell just cracks me up
oh Ellen. (Blush)
Post a Comment